Hello dears, it’s Kayli. (:
So my summer is pretty much over. Classes start Thursday and I’m headed back to the desert; which I’m not sure how I feel about yet. On the one hand it’ll be nice to get back into the swing of things down there and my friends but on the other hand, my heart is in this little valley, and it’s always tough to leave it behind. So I wanted to write a little bit about what these three months have been to me and how I feel about school.
First and foremost, this summer has been a learning experience. When I left to come home in May I had a feeling that this summer would be important, and I was right. I’m right in the middle of this whole “Who am I? What do I really want? What would make me really happy? How do I get there?” stage. And I pretty much wing it everyday because I don’t really know what I’m doing… Which I’m hoping I’ll grow out of. (It isn’t like this forever right? Eventually I’ll kind of get it figured out?) In the last little bit I’ve learned so much about myself. I still don’t have all the answers of course, and I may not ever have all of them, but I know more about who I am. This summer I took all of these projects, all of these chores and ideas and found pieces of myself within them.
Like cleaning out my house and taking care of my own yard. Planting flowers and moving bricks and mowing the grass.
I learned a lot sitting there on that little porch. More than any blog post would do justice to.
I learned to love and appreciate home more than ever before, because now I know what it’s like to be somewhere so different. I learned how much I love every mountain and every green field and every wildflower -because it’s not the same at school in the desert.
I think it’s funny how different this time in my life is than I had expected. I sort of figured it wouldn’t be all that different from high school in that I would feel the same and see things the same way. I knew it would be hard to get used to, I knew it would be at least a little different, but I didn’t know that it would so important for me spiritually and emotionally. College isn’t all parties and making a million friends and skipping class for me- it’s been about meeting people that have already changed my life and creating new relationships with my friends from before. It’s about building my testimony and learning to be in a new, really big pond instead of the little one I was used to.
Which makes me wonder whether that’s common.
What was/is college (or whatever you chose to pursue at this age) like for you?
I feel like this period of my life is of a lot of consequence. The choices I make now and the lessons I learn now are and will be SO important. And I want to know if anyone else feels or felt that way too, or if anyone has any advice or stories about their own experiences at my age. I’d love you forever if you’d share. (:
In the meantime I had a summer full of awesome experiences and I’m SO lucky.
I’ll let you know how it goes. (:
Beautiful post, Kayli! I am glad you are having such a great experience both at home and school
Thank you, thank you!
I try! ha
Really great post! Sounds like you had a pretty perfect summer. Life is one of those things that I always believe will point you to the next direction in life. You already have the right attitude and things will happen as they should!
Thank you! And I think you’re right, things always work out the way they should. And I hope so. (: Thank you for reading!
You have such a sweet heart Kayli! I learned so much about myself and life and even the kind of life I wanted to live when I was away at college! God will help direct your path, lean on Him to guide you. Remember to be true to yourself and try to have a little fun, college years are some of the best times and the most challenging. Be gentle with yourself, be paitent, the answers will come!
Thank you SO much for this! It’s reassuring. College has been good for my relationship with God for sure. We get tighter every day! haha I hope I have a similar experience. Being out on my own has been different for sure and I’m already doing better at letting myself relax about it all a little. You’re awesome. And the best. (:
Oh Kayli, what a wonderful post and so wonderful of you to share your heart with us. I think for me, being the age I am now and remember the age you are now and all that in between…..it really comes down to pride. I think when our minds and our heart truly begin to mature we suddenly take pride in what we are and what we do instead of taking pride in what we think others see us for. It’s no longer a struggle to prove how great we are but to actually show it. Something so simple as tending a garden leaves our mark on this world. Granted if someone doesn’t plow it down and put up a mall over it. It leaves a mark on God’s beautiful earth where He can look down and see “Kayli did that” There isn’t a frame in the world that can hold a certificate like that. When we really understand that, that’s when our hearts truly mature and let God lead us.
Can I just tell you how grateful I am for you?! You’re the greatest. And I see that– my priorities have shifted a lot and I think they still are shifting as I start to change my perspective on what matters. I think the thing I’ve heard the most is learning to turn my life over to Heavenly Father- which is an interesting concept because it’s not really an event as much as it’s a lifestyle change and comes a little at a time. Right? I really did love what you said about leaving a mark, and the idea of leaving as many positive ones as I can. So glad I have wonderful examples like you!